H αρχη

Σημερα ξεκινησε για μενα αυτη η χρονια...Πρωτο μαθημα στη σχολη...
Για πολυ κοσμο, η χρονια ξεκινα τον σεπτεμβρη.Για λλους την 1η Γεναρη..Για μενα ξεκινα με την εναρξη των μαθηματων και την εισαγωγη προγραμματος στη ζωη μου γενικοτερα..Βεβαια το τελευταιο διμηνο παλι σε προγραμμα ειμαι και κανω χιλια-δυο πραγματα..αλλα τωρα ειναι αλλιως..Επισημο!
Ξεκινησε λοιπον κι η φετινη χρονια..Και κανοντας ενα μικρο rewind διαπιστωνω οτι περσι, τετοια εποχη ημουν ακριβως στην ιδια φαση..Δηλαδη :

1)Μόνη μου (μονο που τωρα εχω φρεσκοχωρησει)
2)Πολυ κουρασμενη και ταλαιπωρημενη απο τη διπλη εξεταστικη
3)Με στοχο να παρω πτυχιο την χρονια αυτη (οπως καταλαβατε απετυχε ο περσινος στοχος:Ρ)
4)Με τεραστια ανυπομονισια να ανεξαρτητοποιηθω και να ζησω οπως θελω (το εχω καταφερει αν μερη αυτο φετος..)
5)Να θελω να φυγω απο το σπιτι και να μεινω μονη
6)Με τον Σωτηρη εδω κοντα να μου θυμιζει το "ξαναζεσταμενο φαγητο " [αλλα φετος δεν θα το φαω!!!!και ποτε πια!!!εκτος αν προκειται για μακαρονια με κιμα (και ο νοων νοητο)]
7)Με ορεξη και ονειρα για την καινουρια χρονια
8)Με τα ιδια ακριβως κιλα!:Ρ (ευτυχως)

Βεβαια, εχω και καποια καινουρια δεδομενα..ως απολογισμο λοιπον της περασμενης χρονιας εχουμε :

1)Εναν σφοδρο, υπεροχο ερωτα με τον Μιχαλη , που ηταν ο,τι πιο ομορφο εχω ζησει..
2)Εναν οδυνειροτατο χωρισμο (με τον μιχαλη...)..καθως δεν τελειωνουν ολα τα παραμυθια ομορφα...
3)Μια δουλεια ικανοποιητικη στην παρουσα φαση
4)Ενα καλοκαιρι χωρις διακοπες, συνεπως και κουραση²
5)Αναγκη να τα βρω με μενα
6)Ακουσματα ομορφων μουσικων και αναγνωση υπεροχοτατων βιβλιων που κουνησαν αρκετα την κεφαλα μου

ΞΕΚΙΝΑΜΕ ΛΟΙΠΟΝ!!!ΑΙΣΙΟΔΟΞΑ!!!!

Αυτα...
και επειδη φυσικα δεν γινεται να μην βγω απο το θεμα..
Σημερα στο μαθημα στη σχολη εγινε η πρωτη νυξη απο τον καθηγητη μας ως προς τα συγγραματα που δεν θα ειναι πια δωρεαν...
Αμφιβαλλω αν το προσεξε κανεις...
Σκατα στις κυβερνησεις λοιπον...και φετος μπροστα τους θα μας βρουνε...
Αυτα!

eclipse...

All that you touch
and all that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
and all that you love
and all that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
And all that you give
And all that you deal
And all that you buy beg, borrow or steal
And all you create
And all you destroy
And all that you do
And all that you say
And all that you eat
and everyone you meet
and all that you slight
and everyone you fight
and all that is now
and all that is gone
and all that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon...

Άλλαξα χρώμα για να ξεχωρίσω τους στίους του αγαπημένου μου eclipse από τις βλακείες που θα γράψω..
Τελικά η ζωή μας όλη είναι τρέλα..όλα εινια τρελά...τίποτα λογικό..
και έχω αρχίσει να αναρωτιέμαι αν είναι και τίποτα αληθινό..
Καμιά φορά φαίνονται τα πράγματα στη ζωή τόσο φαινομενικά..σαν να έχει κρυφτεί η αλήθεια επιτηδευμένα..Και τι έγινε..;ακόμη κι αν δούμε μόνο την αλήθεια, που θα χρησιμεύσει;...Ο αληθινός κόσμος εέναι αγνωστος..και τόσο άγνωστος όσο η σκοτεινή πλευρά του φεγγαριού..κι όπως έχουν πει οι ΣΟΦΟΙ floyd..:

""There's no dark side of the moon really...As a matter of fact it's all dark...""

Ίσως να μην έχουν κανένα νόημα αυτά που έγραψα...Αλλά ένα τέτοιο βροχερό απόγευμα γεννά σκέψεις..και ήθελα να τις μοιραστώ..

..one year ago..

Paei enas xronos kai kati apo ekeino to brady..Pou bariomoun na bgw..den ithela na paw sto mikrolimano na akousw tous H.P.F.T.B.
ki omws piga..kai isoun ekei..sto diplano skampo..ki apo tote egina i kordelou..

Mou leipeis poli kapoies stigmes..Mou leipoun oi stigmes..Oi ateleiwtes boltes agkalia, ta gelia, ta peiragmata, ola...
Oi syzitiseis..akoma kai to /hug sto msn..Toso pou den thelw na to bazw se allon..oute kan sti niki...
Den kserw na mou exeis "perasei"..mallon oxi..eisai sti skepsi mou tin perissoteri wra..prospathw ksereis..poli..aplws den ta katafernw akoma..Tha ta kataferw kapoia stigmi ypothetw..

Panta otan xwriza elega mesa mou oti den tha brw kanenan allo na me kanei na niwsw opws o prwin..panta lathos ebgaina..logiko kai kalo..an den synebaine tha ypirxe problima!!!!Twra loipon, eyxomai pio poli apo kathe alli fora na bgw lathos..kai na brethei kapoios na me kanei na niwsw opws esy...

Skeftikes pote pws me ekanes na niwthw?Mallon oxi..Mono mia leksi mou erxetai sto myalo gia na perigrapsw: "EYTYXIA"
kai ta leei ola..kathe lepto itan happy..ektos apo tis teleytaies meres..alla protimw na tis ksexnw..

Makari na ginontousan ola opws ton aprilomaiiouniioulio!Na se ksanaeixa konta mou..genika..na me koitages kai na mou eleges oti eimai teleia kai yperoxi kai oti sou leipw..

Ena brady sto aytokinito sou, eixes akoumpisei panw mou kai akouges tin kardia mou..kai mou eixes pei.."thelw poli na kataferw na mpw mesa.."
To eixes kataferei apo to prwto lepto..apo to prwto fili..

Synithws ta prwta filia einai mia apotyxia..amixana, perierga..den ksereis ton tropo pou filaei o allos...Me sena giati itan yperoxo??Mporeis na mou peis?
Best kisses ever..BEST MOMENTS...
Re isoun the best moments..Kai den to lew en brasmw psixis ayto...exw katsei kai exw skeftei poli olon ayto to kairo...
1,5 minas makria sou..toso makrosirtos..toso dyskolos..gematos pono..
mou leipeis..
mono ayto...
o xronos einai giatros...alla mou leipeis..
and I'm wishing today was one year ago..

..thinking of you...

Telika ola mia idea einai...
kai stis pio skata periodous tis zwis mas mporoume na broume xaramades..iliaxtides..
Simera itan to festival mas...ithela na paw..ithela na brethw me ta paidia apo ti sxoli kai na dw malliades..:P To kalo otan eisai single telika, einai oti flertareis asystolws!!!kai exei polli plaka!
Egw bebaia exw stamparei 3-4 kala kommatia apo kei kai xazeyw kathe fora..alla to ofthlmoloutro einai standar...
Anyway..teleia itan simera sto festival mas...piga loipon...kai eida ena panemorfo paidi...me yperoxa matia kai wraio xamogelo kai makria mallia..kai kollisa na ton xazeyw..
Me pire eidisi FYSIKA, koitage ki aytos alla den milisame...mono otan efyga kai perasa apo mprosta tou tou psiloxamogelasa kai ekane to idio ki ekeinos...Paei..an einai grafto tha ton ksanadw:P..pantws me anevase ligo ayto...
genika otan bgainw, blepw pws exw souxe...:P e de mporei..kati kalo tha brethei kai gia mena...
Entaksi akoma me pligwnei poli to thema Mixalis..ponaw..kai otan to skeftomai lypamai, thimwnw klp klp...alla pernane ayta...
simera itan ena wraio brady loipon...
Kalinyxta syntrofoi...:)

..xthes..

xthes pigame stous muse me tin eleni..itan yperoxa..apisteyti synaylia se ola tis..
itan kai o mixalis ekei...mou eixe steilei minima prin gia na dei an theloume na mas parei me to aytokinito..tou eipa oti eixame idi tropo...
ton eida loipon ekei..
allagmenos sto proswpo..synama omws toso yperoxos oso kai prin 6 mines pou bgikame to prwto rantebou..poli amixania..
mou itan poli dyskolo na briskomai dipla tou kai na min ton aggizw, na min ton koitw opws tha thela na tonkoitaksw..na min mporw na ton agkaliasw kai na ton filisw...myriza to arwma tou..ayto htan to pio dyskolo...ponage..ax, ayti i myrwdia...
mou eixe leipsei toso..omws den imoun etoimi na ton dw akomi..eixa na ton dw ena mina..isws an ton eblepa kathe mera na eixa synithisei sto gegonos oti den eimaste pia mazi..omws den ton blepw kathe mera..kai telika den thelw na ton dw gia poli kairo akoma giati den antexw..ponaw..
Ksekinise i synaylia..Otan oi muse epaiksan to starlight arxisan na trexoun dakrya...
ayto to kommati to exw syndesei me oles tis panemorfes stigmes mazi tou..
My life...you lectrify my life...
dakrya potami...eidika otan teleiwse to tragoudi...den kserw an katalabe,kai den me noiazei..otan teleiwse i synaylia kai xairetithikame ton kratisa poli sfixta stin agkalia mou kai den ton afina..aytos gelase amixana...tou eipa oti zoristika..kai oti ton agapw...kai otan ton rwtisa an aytos me agapaei mou eipe pws ta exoume pei ayta..kai den prepei na ta ksanaleme...amixania...
PONOS..mou leipei...den exei fygei lepto apo to myalo mou simera...elpizw na perasei..

..don't think twice it's alright..

Einai kyriaki prwi..akouw bob dylan kai xazeyw..tha eprepe na diavazw alla pros to paron den exw oreksi na anoiksw to biblio.Tha to kanw se ligo omws...prepei na to kanw, oso ki an de thelw..Mporei na piw kai kafe an kai thelw na to apofygw!Simera eixa pei oti tha koimomoun poli..telika ksipnisa stis 11..Ntax, poli kalytero apo to kathimerino 7, kai to xthesino 6.30..
Thelw na ksipnisw ena prwino kai na niwthw alliws..na mi niwthw keno...na mi niwthw adeia..na exw oreksi gia ti mera pou tha ksekinisei..Mallon to problima mou einai oti den ta xw kala me ton eayto mou ton teleytaio kairo..gia na ta brw mazi tou thelei xrono..thelei skepsi..thelei ypomoni..Den yparxei xronos omws oute gia deigma..
Etsi itan kai persi tin idia epoxi,..mono pou ta xa ligo kalytera me mena..
Ksipnaga kai eniwtha alliws..Twra den einai etsi..
Re gamwto thelw na ginw i persini Margarita..Pou diavaze biblia, epaize kithara, eixe polli oreksi, gelage synexeia..
Etsi imoun..Eidika meta tin eksetastiki..Eniwtha kala..Ebgaina me tous filous mou, epaiza kithara, diabaza biblia kai gemiza omorfa tis meres mou...Pigaina kai sxoli kai parakolouthousa...diavaza kiolas..
Gomeniza oli tin wra..pote me ton Swtiri, pote me asxetous...o enas mou ksinize, o allos mou bromage..kaneis den mou ekane..mexri pou irth o mixalis..pou itan teleios..kai me gemise..alla twra efyge pali..kai eimai ksana stin idia "alone" fasi..mono pou den exw kai poli oreksi gia gkomenismata...pali oloi mou ksinizoun..aplws den exw kai poli kefi na to psaksw peretairw..
Tin proigoumeni paraskeyi eixame bgei me ta koritsia kai egine patagos..eixame poli soukse ofilw na omologisw..mou arese ki o dj tou magaziou pou eimastan..ebale kai smiths kapoia stigmi..kai me koitage..kai egw..kai i biktrwia me pieze na paw na tou milisw..oxi pws den ithela..alla ti na tou elega..kai piga..e kai?den egine kai tipota...oute eniwsa kalitera...tespa..tha erthoun mona tous ayta.eksallou eimai mallon kalytera...
logiko..den eimai opws prin 3 bdomades..omws akoma niwtha zilia...
Thelw na paw ayrio sti sxoli kai na exw kefi gia na diabasw...na min bariemai...gamwto..prepei na zitisw adeia kai apo ti douleia..ntrepomai na paw na milisw ston proistameno.Einai poli kalos, alla den exw akoma anesi mazi tou...prepei na to kanw omws giati 2 mathimata den perniountai alliws...Ayrio tha erthei o filos mou o stelios sxoli kai tha pame na diavasoume mazi..isws etsi sygkentrwthw kalitera..
Prin ligo me pire o swt na pame gia kafe...ntax..den ypirxe periptwsi na bgalw tis pitzames mou...me anisixei ayto giati se normal periptwseis tha tou lega : " se mia wra sto coya!!!!!!!" kai tha petagomoun na etoimastw!
Xthes pigame me tin Biktwria kai tin Stayroula se ena yperpanemorfo cafe stin Omirou..eftiaxne zesti sokolata meliwmeni koubertoura...epaize jazz mousiki, soundtracks kai tetoia apo pikap...diskoi viniliou kai tetoia..
Itan panemorfa...Milisame poli wra..gia tin bik kyriws pou trabaei zoria..Den eixa oreksi na pw kai polla..aplws akouga kai krataga to xeri tis..Meta piga sta eksarxeia kai brika ton filo mou ton Stelio kai kaname bolta kai katsame se kati skalakia kai milagame gia kana 2wro...Kai meta irtha spiti..kai kserathika ston ypno..
Etsi einai oi meres mou gamwto...Ante na teleiwsei i gamweksetastiki na allaksei tipota...
To cheesecake twn Starbucks ta spaei..tha faw kana new york to bradi..
Thelw na paw taksidi..akoma kai moni mou..thelw na fygw apo dw...
Prin merikes meres elega SKATA OLA! Telika den einai skata ola...aplws einai kourastika ola..kai perierga..
Ayti ti stigmi o Dylan mou leei "how does it feel.."..Akouw to like a rolling stone kai poli mou tairiazei...gi ayto parathetw tous stixous...Me allo xrwma:

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didnt you?
Peopled call, say, beware doll, youre bound to fall
You thought they were all kiddin you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin out
Now you dont talk so loud
Now you dont seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Youve gone to the finest school all right, miss lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out youre gonna have to get used to it
You said youd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
Hes not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it aint no good
You shouldnt let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a siamese cat
Aint it hard when you discover that
He really wasnt where its at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
Theyre drinkin, thinkin that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But youd better lift your diamond ring, youd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you cant refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
Youre invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?


Ayta...Wra gia diavasma..

looking back...

Perase kiolas enas minas...enas minas kata ti diarkeia tou opoiou imoun poli asxima.Pote ksana sti zwi mou den thimamai enan mina na einai toso makrys..ateleiwtos..
Mou leipei o Mixalis..Basika den kserw an mou leipei o idios i oi stigmes mazi tou..ayto pou niwthame...mallon ola mazi..
Prin apo 1 mina loipon teleiwse...
Ntax..eimai kalytera..den klaiw oli tin wra..basika den klaiw pia gi ayto..mono se merikes adynames stigmes.Eimai omws melagxoliki, anorexti kai skatenia..me neyra..xwris kefi..poia,egw..
Tha perasei,etsi den einai???
Einai kai i koloeksetastiki sti mesi pou den me afinei na aknw alla pragmata na ksexastw..kai zorizomai gia na diavasw..kai fysika den exw kala apotelesmata..
Thelw na fygw!Na paw allou...opou na nai!!!!!!gamw ti trela mou!
Den mporw allo edw!
Ton pairnoun oloi!
Geia.


Looking back over my shoulder
I can see that look in your eye
I never dreamed it could be over
I never wanted to say goodbye

Looking back over my shoulder
With an aching deep in my heart
I wish that we were starting over
Oh instead of drifting so far apart

Everybody told me you were leaving
Funny I should be the last to know
Baby please tell me that I'm dreaming
I just never want to let you go

Looking back over my shoulder
I can see that look in your eye
Turning my heart over and over
I never wanted to say goodbye

I don't mind everybody laughing
But it's enough to make a grown man cry
Cos I can feel you slipping through my fingers
I don't even know the reason why

Every day it's a losing battle
Just to smile and hold my head up high
Could it be that we belong together
Baby won't you give me one more try
One more try

Looking back over my shoulder
I can see that look in your eye
I never dreamed it could be over
I never wanted to say goodbye

Looking back over my shoulder
Oh with an aching feeling inside
Cutting me up, deeper and deeper
Fills me with a sadness that I can't hide

Looking back over my shoulder
I can see that look in your eye
I never dreamed no no it could be over
I never wanted to say goodbye

..vacant..

Hey you, Hey you
I'm right here
Conscience fading
Can't get through

Oh Lord
Helpless
Confused
Head swayed
Eyes glazed
And mine teared

She's losing control
What can I do
Her vacant eyes
Black holes
Am I losing you..

Eixa polles meres na akousw ayto to kommati..eida grammenous tous stixous kai eniwsa..
me exei parei poli apo katw aytes tis meres..den kserw giati..
skeftomai tous perasmenous 6 mines...ton teleytaio pou eimai moni mou..kai tous 5 proigoumenous...
skeftomai ti sxoli..ta mathimata..poso pisw exw meinei..prepei na strwthw na diavasw ma den paizei na ginei ayto..niwthw treli kourasi!den kserw an exw ksananiwsei toso kourasmeni sti zwi mou!Psixologika kiriws...noitika..den mporw na skeftomai allo..den mporw..tipota den mporw!kanenan...
Kanw ergasiotherapia...den stamataw katholou!douleia,sxoli, diavasma (dystyxws oxi me epityxia), xoros...o,tidipote gia na min skeftomai...alla..tipota...
Niwthw kai polla asxima synaisthimata...opws akribws prin 1 mina..nomiza pws me ton kairo tha efeygan..tha epaye na me noiazei...ma den ginetai tipota..antitheta..megalwnoun kai dynamwnoun..kai sto laimo na sou katsei i makaronada!
ayta...
entelws adeia niwthw..keni..
thelw na stamatisei ayto gamwto..
de ginetai..pws tha ginei?pote?me ton kairo?poso gamimeno kairo na perimenw...

plits plats...mpam..tsak..SPLATS..pame?????

Pame?Pame na fygoume?De mporw allo edw..exw barethei ta panta.'H sxedon ta panta..
Pame sto londino!Tha brexei twra ekei..thelw ligi broxi!!!!Xreiazetai..Tha einai san na kseplenei..Th sixainomai ti broxi!Ti misw!!!!Me brexei, krywnw, mou katsarwnei ta mallia, ta all star mou den prostateyoun tis kaltses mou!!!Ti sixainomai oso de fantazetai kaneis!
Ki omws twra ti thelw..Exw ena baros tharrw..thelw na breksei na fygei..
Tin teleytaia fora pou ebrexe imoun eytyxismeni!Oxi epeidi ebrexe..pali mou tin eixe spasei i broxi, pali ta alla star mou eixan ginei mouskema mazi me tis kaltses..alla den me enoiaze..Apeiri eytyxia..kai pagwto dwdwni..
Kala, as min pame Londino..pame kapou omws!!!!!Pame Amsterdam?Parisi?Pio makria????Pame Nea Yorki?California?mpa..stin kalifornia tha exei aklokairi mallon...de goustarw..
Pame kapou!
Edw de mporw allo..Pnigomai re paidi mou..kai den kserw giati kathomai edw kai grafw!Thelw na fygw apo to spiti kai na arxisw na pigainw xwris proorosmo kapou..alla den to kanw!Giati den mporw-ypoxrewseis kai tetoia- kai giati kserw pou tha paw..kai den thelw na kserw.
Ola einai perierga..Xthes itan kalytera..kai proxthes..genika mia aisiodoksia epikratouse ap to savvato..alla simera pali skata.logiko?..ma giati ola na prepei na exoun logiki?
Thelw dynami..den exw.Den kserw kai pou na ti brw..poli kourasmeni kai synama mpoukwmeni!Ena tsak perimenw..kai MPAM!
Pros to paon to tsak den ginetai..isws adeiasw mexri na ginei..
Persi tetoia epoxi pali sto tsak imoun..den kserw ti eftaige tote..sigoura omws eixa pio gemismenes mpataries kaidinami ousiastiki..kai anti na ginei to tsak erxontousan plits plats pou anevazan..kai edeinan ki alli dynami..kai omorfes meres!!!Boltes to xeimwna..Sinema..pota..diadromes pisw..pou kakws eginan, alla tote itan omorfes kai toso, ma toso anagkaies....Kai erwtimatika, kai dillimata..kai dakrya alla kyriws xamogela, kai dynami gamwto!!!!..kai meta allakse o xronos..kai irthe to 2007..irema ki wraia..sto Tzibaeri..kai ekei ta plits plats stamatisan!Giati arxisan na ginontai poli enoxlitika!!!pws einai otan stazei mia brisi kai den se afinei na koimitheis?etsi!!!kai tote STOP!!!Apla stop..
Synexistikan bebaia apo xilies 2 diaforetikes meries ta plits plats..alla itan omorfa kai drosistika..katholou enoxlitika!!!
Tharrw pws ta eixa synithisei ki olas..Omorfes meres..Akomi ki otan eixa 40 pyreto!!!
Kai monaksies..kai polikosmia..kai agwnia..Na paw gipedo??Ki an ayti ti fora milisei?Ki an den erthei..O gipedos..
Kai geniki syneleysi to allo prwi..Ta idia kathe fora..kai poreies!!!Yperoxes meres..plits plats apo pantou...
Kai tote egine ena terastio splats!
Kai ola itan se mia alli diastasi..apisteyti kai prwtognwri kai diaforetiki kai synama yperoxi...An ta plits plats ta synexomena sikwnan kymmatakia mesa, ayto to splats sikwse tsounami!Ena megalo tsounami pou allakse polla mesa alla opws ola ta kymmatakia, mikra i megala, efyge pisw sto nero...
Omorfo pou itan..Panyperoxoglukomorfo..
Teleiwsan kai ta plits plats omws..
Kai yparxei mia aisthisi oti anamenetai to tsak..Gia na ginei to mpam..Ki an de ginei???Ki an arxisoun pali ta plits plats???poso tha kratisoun?tha ksanaerthei tsounami?De thelw na to perimenw..Tharrw pws protimw na ginei to mpam..na teleiwnoume re paidi mou!Twra an to mpam tha einai kalo i kako agnow..alla tha diwksei pragmata..
'H aplws as breksei epitelous!!!!!
Kai pame na fygoume gamwto!!!!!!
As pame sto nisi!!!
'H kapou telospantwn..anywhere..

" I'll take you anywhere you wanna go"